“I’m going down to the Dew Drop Inn
See if I can drink enough
There ain’t much to country living
Sweat, piss, jizz and blood
“Sweet home Alabama”
Play that dead band’s song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long…”
-Warren Zevon “Play It All Night Long”
Zevon must have had decayville Molalla in mind when he wrote that song. Aside from the fact that urban blight rules and the only entertainment is drinkin’ and playin’ noise pollution “music” all night long, the so-called “city leaders” are apparently about to pass a Big Brother civil rights violating Witch Hunt ordinance that defies the “DO NOT ADOPT” recommendation of the wise city manager. The Council can then try to witch hunt potential candidates.
Molalla Witch Hunt season ahoy!
We often joke at my house that Molalla truly is Alabama of the North, a place where civil rights are squashed and Big Brother dirty politics rules.
It’s surely a laugh riot in a city stuffed with right-wing church goers when they all forget that basic Christian saying “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. In Molalla, the dirty politics run deep and the current Ordinance 2012-11 to allow criminal background checks to character assassinate candidates for political office is a prime example of Molalla’s deep seeded interest in suppression. After all, if Molalla can’t play dirty and buck all reason it doesn’t want to play. What a loserville!
What’s totally mind-boggling is that the effort to pass this nutty ordinance crosses lines and Councilors who should know better because they pretend to be progressive are actually supporting the Witch Hunt Ordinance. A Councilor who recently suffered a recall petition based on lies actually voted “yes” for this insane ordinance. I guess in Molalla people don’t learn from personal experience?
Councilors Clark, Thompson and Wolfe joined King “mayor” Clarke in voting yes for the Witch Hunt. Only Councilor Needham and Council President Rogge voted no. We expect hideous ordinances to come from soon to be gone (yeah!) King “mayor” Clarke but shame on the rest of the Council: since when are you empowered to violate the civil rights of others? Who made you “god”? If you can’t win elections on the strength of your own merits then you don’t deserve to be in office!
Most of all, when will the pathetic “leaders” realize that every time they produce CRAP it reflects badly on the image of their city. No place deserves it’s failure to thrive more than Molalla, given the hate speak and constant attempts to violate civil rights and free speech. Any sane investor would run screaming from small minded Molalla, which seems to want to model itself in the image of North Korea. Let the Witch Hunt begin:
What part about the City Manager’s advice “do not adopt” didn’t Molalla’s Witch Hunt Four understand? Did they fail to read that NO other city in the State has such a civil rights violating ordinance, did they miss that Oregon’s Secretary of State is NOT supportive of such repression and do they actually wish to expose Molalla to legal claims over possible infringement of CIVIL RIGHTS by passing the North Korea Witch Hunt Ordinance? Apparently they are so bent on election repression and fear of a fair political contest that the Witch Hunt Four will throw democracy out at the city limits. What’s next, waterboarding:
Be VERY grateful if you don’t live in or near Witchhuntville! It’s particularly amusing that these same head in the sand civil rights haters have failed miserably when it comes to holding the past corrupt administration responsible for dragging Molalla into insolvency and creating the crappiest quality of life around. That’s the kind of moral witch hunt we should have had – but the Witch Hunt Four would rather pass something designed to control the message and depress fair political competition than face the fact that their incompetence as “leaders” turned Molalla into a joke.
I’ll laugh my head off when the Witch Hunt Ordinance backfires and the city – YET AGAIN! – gets sued and has to fork over damages. That’s Molalla’s track history. It was funny when this same Council was considering posting some Christian “godly” slogan in City Hall. When I informed ACLU about that proposal I was asked to keep those civil rights watchdogs informed so they could swoop in if Molalla tried to overlay religion with government.
I’ve proposed some “winners” for potential businesses to fill the decayed, archaic empty storefronts, like a “bankruptcy” themed store. Now I see great potential for “Witch Hunt” products. Will Councilor Clark, Thompson or Wolfe step up to the challenge? How about OUTGOING (HOORAY!) King “mayor” Clarke, he is perfect to man the Molalla Witch Hunt store. Here’s a cute North Korea propaganda poster, I bet King Clarke and his three witch hunt handmaiden Councilors could photoshop themselves in to make it look like they are leading us to the Molalla Land of Milk and Honey. Hey Art’s Commission, here’s a new mural project coming for the store:
I’d suggest combing the web for products related to the Spanish Inquisition, North Korea and Stalin. I bet there are all kinds of cool burning at the stake posters and Maoist slogans to decorate with. Here’s some WITCH HUNT themed products to get the Civil Rights Hating Molalla Gang of Four started.
We could surely change the name on this image from the Middle Ages to reflect the repressive “leaders” in provincial Molalla – the poster could be a big seller!
How about some more contemporary products for those days when the poor citizens want to pretend they have sidewalks to walk on and parks to go to and need a hat (because Molalla never got the message that progressive cities have street trees so it is concrete hell):
In fact, since the Witch Hunt Four (Clarke, Thompson, Clark and Wolfe) are so fond of repression maybe they can pass an Ordinance demanding that the entire Council wear that hat to meetings. Or hell, why not pass an Ordinance that anyone entering the city limits has to buy and wear the hat – that would pump up the economy and make the “we hate civil rights” gang of four feel good about themselves!
Here’s another sales item that could be framed treasured by anti-Americans, after all it is just one step to Molalla imposing some voter id laws and suppressing the vote that way as well (remember, there are many reasons we always call Molalla “Alabama of the North” at my house and this attempt to cook elections is just one of a long line of civil rights sins!):
Then we can fill the book cases with wonderful titles like this (I bet the Hell and Brimstone preachers in Molalla can help big time, they seem to be right up there in hate speech about gays and civil rights):
And more hats (but given the Molalla’s penchant for ignoring history and refusing to accept reality we might have to have a seminar on what the Spanish Inquisition was all about if this hat is going to sell):
Here’s one more product that could be the mandated tee-shirt at the idiotic Molalla street fairs (hey King Clarke and your handmaidens Councilors Thompson, Clark and Wolfe, how about passing an ordinance that mandates everyone in town wear this?):
So come on down to insolvent, holier than thou, civil rights hating, decayed backwater Molalla, Alabama of the North if you want to see the best place NOT TO LIVE! Just drive real slow, don’t be a person of color or be different in any way and don’t try to run for office because if you step out of line you’ll be sorry: