Date night with Molalla’s “mayor” King Clown Mike Clarke!

What? Or else there would be total mayhem in “circus” Molalla? There’s ALWAYS total mayhem in Cluelessville Molalla!

All over the world, the protesters of 2011 share a belief that their countries’ political systems and economies have grown dysfunctional and corrupt — sham democracies rigged to favor the rich and powerful and prevent significant change. They are fervent small-d democrats. “- Time’s “Protester Person of the Year”

Speaking of “political systems and economies (that) have grown dysfunctional and corrupt — sham democracies rigged to favor the rich and powerful and prevent significant change” you couldn’t find a better example than the City of Molalla mayhem in all the years it has been ruled by mayor King Mike Clarke. Or maybe a better way to put it is to say “in all the years  the richie rich good old boy TEAM fools used King Clarke as their sham puppet for influence peddling”!

Need to try to get some good old boy land urbanized? No problem, King Clarke will spend into deficit for years, using public funds to try to foster private profit.

Want to pretend you can market your contaminated mill sites? No problem, King Clarke will lead the charge to spend money on an insane study of a truck bypass his broke city could never afford to build – and that would never be allowed through wetlands.

Want to keep your planning job or continue as city lawyer in spite of years of failure and incompetence? Hey, no problem, King Clarke’s nepotism policy protects all his “special” buddies.

“Throw more public money out the window and lack of results be damned” is King Clarke’s motto!

Anyway, it was funny to arrive at the Molalla Library on Wednesday night for what was billed as a “town hall” with Dave Hunt, candidate for Clackamas County Commission Chair, only to find that King Clarke and Dave Hunt and his aide were the only people on deck at the 6:30 start time. An environmental advocate friend of mine arrived a bit late so that was it for participants in a one and a half hour “town hall”: two environmental activists, a politician and  puppet King Clown Clarke. I bet this is how the King Clown felt when I walked in the door:

That two environmentalist guest roster must have blown King Clown’s mind! And the evil King Clown had no power to censure or to bang the gavel to stop free speech!

“Help! They’re talking about smart compact growth! Help!! They’re talking about only proposing realistic projects!” Help! No! They’re talking about transparency and accountability and the environment! HELP!!! They’re saying there’s no economic solutions for Molalla!”

As usual, King Clarke had nary a thought to share. He was surely displeased that his harshest political critic – me! – ran the Q&A. King Clarke’s biggest contribution was to mumble that he and Dave had “talked” – likely, King Clarke had tried some of his usual flim flam influence peddling! Ha! How’s that going King Clarke? Is Hunt offering to give you the moon for your endorsement? Do you actually think that Molalla is due much of anything after you “stuffed in” all those cheap houses without charging SDCs? Did you give Hunt  your famous badge?

I bet King Clarke’s hopes for future behind the scenes evil influence peddling were driven down by the fact that King Clown FAILED to produce any participants for the so-called town hall. I sure didn’t show up at Clarke’s invite! Prey tell, King Clarke, where WERE all your supporters? You couldn’t even dredge up one body to fill a seat? Not even your puppet boy toy clown son?

Have you heard about King Clown Clarke’s free speech hating, recall slap happy son? He’s a piece of work. The Oregonian covered the idiotic recall recently – it’s the second time around since recall boy child got spooked by legal problems first time around. Anyway, sleazy Evil King Clown Clark denied any knowledge of BOTH recalls  – can you believe he thinks anyone is stupid enough to believe THAT? Here’s what the King Clown was quoted as saying about recall #2 in the Oregonian:

Mike Clarke denies any involvement with his son’s recall efforts.

“Him and I don’t talk about it at all,” Mike Clarke said. “I just stayed back, and then all of a sudden (my son’s) name’s on (the petition), and I thought, ‘Oh gosh, this is not going to look good.‘” (

The “Oh gosh,this is not going to look good” statement is about the first thing I’ve heard come out of the King Clown’s mouth that I agree with!

By the way, Evil King Clown was a TEACHER: “Him and I don’t talk about it at all“… HIM and I???? Are you kidding? The statement is dumb enough but “HIM and I“????

But now, back to date night on Monday. Again, the King Clown of Molalla could not even get ONE PERSON he knew to come to an important (to Dave Hunt) town hall. Maybe the “Him and I don’t talk” recall  story is correct, or else you would imagine silly recall boy Clarke would have at least shown up to support Daddy Dear.

(It’s all like when George W. Bush sent us to war in Iraq to avenge his Pappy – remember, there never were weapons of mass destruction!).

Since King Clarke was too dumb to get into the hour and a half debate, it was fun to run the topics about  land use, the economy, the need for transparency, the need for oversight to stop pie in the sky “we wish” crap, the need for accountability and the value of citizen participation with Hunt. Each question and answer was 180 degrees out from what King Clarke would want to hear.

Hunt agreed there needs to be far more citizen involvement and transparency in government.

Oh! No! King Clarke would not want THAT! Imagine if the public had been privy to all the behind the scenes meetings that for YEARS told idiotic Molalla planning and King Clarke that they would LOSE on the urban reserve! How much fun would it have been to be a fly on the wall of ALL THOSE MEETINGS! Imagine if the public could observe the meetings and give feedback about all the LIES TEAM and King Clarke tell! Wow! New day dawning!

Hunt had no solutions for tanking Molalla in terms of jobs. Hunt said the County will pump up the Clackamas industrial areas via the Sunrise Corridor. Hey King Clarke, your buddy Dave Hunt actually said workers can just keep doing the ridiculously long commutes to Metro! The other weak economic suggestion was that “maybe” the County could send a few logs from the puny County forest and add a shift at a local mill. But aren’t those mills OUTSIDE the city limits? And the County forests are so small they could not make a dent in local mill production.

So, sorry King Clarke – no solution ahead per Dave Hunt for your “Death of the Fringe Suburb” boxcanyon Decayville Molalla. No real industrial expansion is seen, either from Hunt or from a recent Economic Development meeting the BCC held recently. That BCC work session focused on McLaughlin Corridor, Clackamas industrial, agriculture and Mt. Hood.

Could it be that Molalla might have to focus on the dreaded agricultural sector – that the good old boy TEAM fools and their false god King Clarke might have to RESPECT the prime farmlands that surround the city. That would be a hoot of all hoots – it surely is about the only expansive local sector anyone with a brain is suggesting for fringe outlands like Molalla!

I got an extra big kick out of discussing the need to stop pie in the sky bullshit (like the forest rd truck bypass study boondoggle and the urban reserve) with Hunt. Hunt agreed that there must be far more  robust discussion between agencies and policy makers to ensure that we don’t waste public money and agency time on crap proposals (hello TEAM) that have zero chance of implementation: Like the forest road baloney – like the urban reserve baloney – all based on lies that Molalla is growing and thriving. All based on lies that Molalla is adding significant businesses – when the TEAM propaganda machine talking head lobbyist FAILS to list all the companies that have disappeared!

And puppet mayor King Clown Clarke is the fall guy for it all the TEAM greed!

I’d say all it will take is for agencies to look at the LOL “Molalla budget” to run away screaming that there is no way the public can fund more phony studies for Brokesville Molalla!

How did you like THAT answer, King Clarke? Has your buddy Dave given a different spin in your “private” influence peddling discussions? Do you REALLY think anyone takes YOU seriously, given the state of your crumbling, going broke fast berg? Do you REALLY think anyone is going to drop money for roads outside the city limits in these economic times for a bypass to contaminated land?

Hunt hopes, if elected, to get voters to approve a transportation user fee, like the $5 Sellwood Bridge fee that just got roundly defeated. He hopes that if a transportation fee is promised to help all areas of the County it might pass. I’d say that’s a huge “might”. Even if such a fee passed, Molalla’s cut would be so tiny it would never cover the pent-up needs in the city limits for glaring road repairs. How’s that endorsement looking now, King Clarke? Do you think you’ll get enough influence peddling bang for your buck? I’d say NOT!

The 99% of us – Time’s PROTESTING PEOPLE OF THE YEAR – already know that we are fast approaching beggar status. We WON’T LET false King Clowns like Mike Clarke drive us further into the depths of poverty as he runs his “I work ONLY FOR THE RICH” campaign!

Hey King Clown, where WERE your TEAM greed puppet masters on date night? Why didn’t they turn out to support you – to protect you from a couple of environmental truth tellers? Boo hoo, a poor Evil King Clown can’t even depend on the unethical good old boy cabal when push comes to shove!

Don’t you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother, they’re here.

Isn’t it rich?
Isn’t it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.” – Send in the Clowns

All that’s missing for a complete Urban Decay downtown Molalla  with the sleazy bars, the gun store and the pawnshop is an Adult Store and – light bulb moment! – a TATTOO PARLOR:

Letter to the editor re: King Clarke published Molalla Pioneer 12/7/2011

Mayor Clarke’s ludicrous claim that he isn’t involved in his son’s second round of recall petitions is funny beyond belief! In any case, it further proves that the silly King Clarke dynasty is anti-democracy because it works to suppress free speech and to hog power.

King Clarke has a horrific record: dictating gag orders, piling up legal and consultant bills, thwarting transparency and accountability and producing nothing but a tragicomic pile of unimplemented plans via public money grants.

There’s the 211 Streetscape/Downtown Master plan (over a million just to fill ditches and add one paved shoulder – complete implementation costs would be mind boggling), a 20 year road plan (64 million), 213 / Toliver plans (one and a half million), a 20 year park plan (33 million), Four Corners Industrial Park plans (over 3 million) and the never gonna happen Forest Rd. truck bypass farce.

It doesn’t take a calculator to add up all King Clarke’s crazy “plans” – over one hundred million dollars are needed and decaying Molalla is just about bankrupt!

As unaffordable plans piled up, profligate spending on the now denied urban reserve continued. King Clarke clung to his nepotism, protecting an overpaid, unskilled planner, honoring his good old boy land speculator buddies to the bitter end. Those bitter end bills bought nothing but Molalla’s financial ruin.

Clarke signed a 2006 agreement with Forristall Family Investments that required Molalla to install more infrastructure in Four Corners by 2010. The city is now stuck with legal bills and private installation costs because Molalla failed to honor that contract. The taxpayers of Oregon donated over $600,000 in grants for the initial Four Corners installation, which produced nothing but a short, ill-kept dead end road and a handful of low paying jobs.

Look at the shuttered stores, the potholes, the cracked pavement, the missing sidewalks/bike lanes and the inadequate parks: King Clarke’s legacy represents nothing but overblown plans, overbuilt housing without balancing System Development Charges and nepotism based appointments. Spendthrift Clarke killed any hope that Molalla can implement anything of value.

The greed TEAM hopes their puppet King Clarke will squash all debate and surround himself with toadies so a handful of good old boys can force their agenda at the expense of our quality of life. Recall petitions, once filed, become public record. We’ll learn who supports the tyranny of the Clarke dynasty. If you sign, you certainly don’t have a clue what the First Amendment stands for.

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One Response to Date night with Molalla’s “mayor” King Clown Mike Clarke!

  1. Here is a link to an article I just wrote where Mayor Clarke is a lead actor in the article, so give it a read:

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