Why are we fighting about growth in Molalla? The world ENDS tomorrow!

I guess the local land speculators missed the news: With the rapture scheduled to hit tomorrow, we’re silly to be fighting about Molalla’s future!

Maybe faith-based failed “mayor” Clarke had a reason to sit back and let the city’s finances collapse as he advocated for low quality, stuff ’em in development. At least the developers got rich quick and left town for greener pastures. Why worry about little details like sustainability or adequate parks or crumbling roads or half million dollar planning deficits or ingrown, over budget backwoods po-lice forces running amuck when it all ends with a bang tomorrow?

I’ve had a great run – how’s about you? Can you meet your maker tomorrow with a clear conscience? I hope the goddess in charge gives bonus points for my civic research – providing facts so fellow humans can fight back against oppression. Maybe that will counter-balance my “faith” in free will and in the forces of nature winning out in the end.

Check out the “post rapture looting” sites on facebook. I joined in the “party” on one with over half a million fans, and counting:


Maybe Eric Kyllo can join the looting party and lead the locals on a post-apocalypse party. Drive in them big rigs, bulldoze quickly while I have my back turned and get them mansions up post-rapture.

The good folks are going to them clouds in the sky and the rest of us can fight it out for the spoils. I’d say, given the “Do you want more money or a bigger house?” square on the above rapture flow chart (bottom left)  where a “yes” leads to “left behind”, that all of the Molalla good old boy network is staying. I’ll be here, too (I figure the kind of cloth I wear and my tendency to “blasphemy” will shoot down my chances of blasting skyward  tomorrow).

It seems, looking closely at that rapture chart,  that everyone I love and respect is likely to be a stayin’ so lets meet at somebody’s cave with a Mad Max plan for our future. I fear Eric Kyllo and Mr. Idiot Ridge will be a lookin’ for a lootin’ showdown in these them there hills.

You know, we’ll have the back hat “we could give a rat’s ass about anyone else’s quality of life” vers the white hat TEAM ENVIRO cage fight.  The “Save a logger, eat a spotted owl” good ole boys vers us TREE HUGGERS slug fest!  Let the showdown begin once we clear out all the “on the fencers” who will likely ride the rapture bus out of Buckerooville by tomorrow night!

Since I am sure I’m stayin’, I’d better head back out and check the trap for the damned bullfrog tadpoles (oops! I did it again, killed my chances with that damned “damned” again!). I’ve got a pretty good stock pile of pet food and there’s deer in the woods in case the Safeway trucks don’t make it. I’m pretty much a vegetarian, do I get points for the next rapture? When is the one after this one scheduled? I was disappointed that Y2K was such a bust! If I just stick to eating stinging nettles and tree bark, leave the deer alone, go naked and stop swearing (I know it tears you up Eric, but Lenny Bruce is my GOD!) can I ride the next wave to heaven? Anyway, it might be hard for me to digest red meat after 30+ years…

Read on for more about how faith-base fear is actually affecting children…

Make My Bed? But You Say the World’s Ending


Published: Friday, May 20, 2011 at 5:10 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, May 20, 2011 at 5:10 a.m.

( page all of 4 )

The Haddad children of Middletown, Md., have a lot on their minds: school projects, SATs, weekend parties. And parents who believe the earth will begin to self-destruct on Saturday.

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Abby Haddad Carson and Robert Carson say Saturday is Judgment Day; the children, Joseph, Faith and Grace, right, do not.
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Monica Lopossay for The New York Times

The three teenagers have been struggling to make sense of their shifting world, which started changing nearly two years ago when their mother, Abby Haddad Carson, left her job as a nurse to “sound the trumpet” on mission trips with her husband, Robert, handing out tracts. They stopped working on their house and saving for college.

Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word.

“My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”

Thousands of people around the country have spent the last few days taking to the streets and saying final goodbyes before Saturday, Judgment Day, when they expect to be absorbed into heaven in a process known as the rapture. Nonbelievers, they hold, will be left behind to perish along with the world over the next five months.

With their doomsday T-shirts, placards and leaflets, followers — often clutching Bibles — are typically viewed as harmless proselytizers from outside mainstream religion. But their convictions have frequently created the most tension within their own families, particularly with relatives whose main concern about the weekend is whether it will rain.

Kino Douglas, 31, a self-described agnostic, said it was hard to be with his sister Stacey, 33, who “doesn’t want to talk about anything else.”

“I’ll say, ‘Oh, what are we going to do this summer?’ She’s going to say, ‘The world is going to end on May 21, so I don’t know why you’re planning for summer,’ and then everyone goes, ‘Oh, boy,’ ” he said.

The Douglas siblings live near each other in Brooklyn, and Mr. Douglas said he could not wait until Sunday — “I’m going to show up at her house so we can have that conversation that’s been years in coming.”

Ms. Douglas, who has a 7-year-old, said that while her family did not see the future the way she did, her mother did allow her to put a Judgment Day sign up on her house. “I never thought I’d be doing this,” said Ms. Douglas, who took vacation from her nanny job this week but did not quit. “I was in an abusive relationship. One day, my son was playing with the remote and Mr. Camping was on TV. I thought, This guy is crazy. But I kept thinking about it and something told me to go back.”

Ms. Douglas and other believers subscribe to the prophesy of Harold Camping, a civil engineer turned self-taught biblical scholar whose doomsday scenario — broadcast on his Family Radio network — predicts a May 21, 2011, Judgment Day. On that day, arrived at through a series of Bible-based calculations that assume the world will end exactly 7,000 years after Noah’s flood, believers are to be transported up to heaven as a worldwide earthquake strikes. Nonbelievers will endure five months of plagues, quakes, wars, famine and general torment before the planet’s total destruction in October. In 1992 Mr. Camping said the rapture would probably be in 1994, but he now says newer evidence makes the prophesy for this year certain.

Kevin Brown, a Family Radio representative, said conflict with other family members was part of the test of whether a person truly believed. “They’re going through the fiery trial each day,” he said.

Gary Daniels, 27, said he planned to spend Saturday like other believers, “glued to our TV sets, waiting for the Resurrection and earthquake from nation to nation.” But he acknowledged that his family was not entirely behind him.

“At first there was a bit of anger and tension, not really listening to one another and just shouting out ideas,” Mr. Daniels said.

But his family has come around to respect — if not endorse — his views, and he drove from his home in Newark, Del., on Monday night in a van covered in Judgment Day messages to say goodbye to relatives in Brooklyn. “I know I’m not going to see them again, but they are very certain they are going to see me, and that’s where I feel so sad,” he said. “I weep to know that they don’t have any idea that this overwhelming thing is coming right at them, pummeling toward them like a meteor.”

Courtney Campbell, a professor of religion and culture at Oregon State University, said “end times” movements were often tied to significant date changes, like Jan. 1, 2000, or times of acute social crises.

“Ultimately we’re looking for some authoritative answers in an era of great social, political, economic, as well as natural, upheaval,” Professor Campbell said. “Right now there are lots of natural disasters occurring that will get people worried, whether it’s tornadoes in the South or earthquakes and tsunamis. The United States is now involved in three wars. We’re still in a period of economic uncertainty.”

While Ms. Haddad Carson has quit her job, her husband still works as an engineer for the federal Energy Department. But the children worry that there may not be enough money for college. They also have typical teenage angst — embarrassing parents — only amplified.

“People look at my family and think I’m like that,” said Joseph, their 14-year-old, as his parents walked through the street fair on Ninth Avenue, giving out Bibles. “I keep my friends as far away from them as possible.”

“I don’t really have any motivation to try to figure out what I want to do anymore,” he said, “because my main support line, my parents, don’t care.”

His mother said she accepted that believers “lose friends and you lose family members in the process.”

“I have mixed feelings,” Ms. Haddad Carson said. “I’m very excited about the Lord’s return, but I’m fearful that my children might get left behind. But you have to accept God’s will.”

The children, however, have found something to giggle over. “She’ll say, ‘You need to clean up your room,’ ” Grace said. “And I’ll say, ‘Mom, it doesn’t matter, if the world’s going to end!’ ”

She and her twin, Faith, have a friend’s birthday party Saturday night, around the time their parents believe the rapture will occur.

“So if the world doesn’t end, I’d really like to attend,” Grace said before adding, “Though I don’t know how emotionally able my family will be at that time.”

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