The Cartoon World of IDIOT RIDGE Motocross

(it’s) “a cartoon world, where the figures are flat and outlined in black, jerking through some kind of goofy story that might be real funny if it weren’t for the cartoon figures being real guys”. Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

…Hunting whales on the high seas is out of vogue and Lost Horizons on Tibetan mountain tops out of focus. Let’s find a place where people are going down in this hole, and what happens to them on the way, and what it means to everybody, and we got us a novel.

On second thought, let’s not step on that ‘what it means to everybody’ step: that plank had always been a little squeaky“. Ken Kesey, U of O lecture

I’m reading a great new biography about Ken Kesey and those quotes leapt off the page as indicative of the ‘fun’ our community has been having ‘going down in this hole’ during our epic battle to stop IDIOT RIDGE and motocross in our peaceful hills. Or at least ‘peaceful’ till those ‘cartoon figures being real guys‘ dressed in Halloween suits stole our privacy. And let’s not forget to throw in the swell ‘cartoon figures being real’ gals as well – given the recent exchanges on Steve Corrie’s facebook pages it looks like the Sheriff’s file of threats will have to start including some ‘cartoon gals’ searching for revenge against any citizen who has the gall to speak out against the nastiest fake ‘sport’ on the planet.

Get this, motocross hulks and hulkettes: You chose the Idiot Ridge ‘squeaky’ plank to step on and now you are about ready to step off into oblivion. Then you can swim to another “middle of nowhere” sea and test the abuse waters somewhere new. Meanwhile, your hero, Mr. Idiot Ridge, will be holding the dregs of the massive regulatory mess he has embroiled himself in and we’ll all enjoy watching that ship sink.

I wonder how much support Mr. Idiot Ridge will get once the gavel of justice falls hard against motocross in south Molalla – a far too INTENSIVE use in farm/forest zoning. And how about Mr. Idiot Ridge’s fake measurement from the city limits straight into the heart of Idiot Ridge, which ‘kinda forgot’ to measure from the farthest border of the property? That’s a “no-no”, the real distance has to be from nearest border to nearest border, Idiot Ridge to Molalla city limits. So yet again, Mr. Idiot Ridge proved the County’s point that Idiot Ridge is too close to Molalla to even be considered for a ‘park’.

I won’t even comment on the ‘noise’ baloney report, except to say I sure hope it didn’t cost too much to buy that pathetic Uncle Fud ‘study’. That ‘study’ reminds me of the piles of worthless paper generated for more than 4 years by Molalla plannin’ bozo Potter – and Molalla is STILL DEAD IN THE WATER with the County. Land use is looking for HARD FACTS. Subjective ‘we think,  we hope, we wish, and maybe’ garbage hits the trash can right away.

The funniest thing is that the very weak noise ‘study’ was done by the same company featured in the Washougal lawsuits (see my post “History of MX: Pitting Neighbors Against Neighbors). The important Washougal lawsuit (and endless health studies) cite NUISANCE NOISE as the greatest factor and concern – and NUISANCE NOISE doesn’t stop just because it falls under some fakeout number submitted by a for hire private shill ‘expert’ (we have tons of experience with for hire shills via the LNG/pipeline fiascos and punching holes in those ‘facts’ is easy). The following is from the remand Washougal case:

“pg. 23, item h, referring to noise study results from the firm Daly-Standlee: “The examiner finds that noise from some activities on the Motocross site is significantly detrimental to people who reside nearby.”

pg. 24 item h. iii: “Even when the noise does not drown out conversation or disturb people sleeping exceed 57 dbA, it increases the noise levels frequently enough and in amounts and for a duration that is enough to detract from the character of the area as rural residential. The examiner finds that such an impact is significantly detrimental to people nearest the site.”

OH! OH! Mr. Idiot Ridge better throw some more dinero at the for hire noise shills so they can say the hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of NOISE won’t be a NUISANCE“SIGNIFICANTLY DETRIMENTAL TO PEOPLE NEAREST THE SITE”. NUISANCE is the key word – not the exact level of noise. But hey, when you are already deaf from the dirt bike din how would you know what it sounds like to the rest of the world, right? And when you are callous hulks, how would you ever understand what NUISANCE means? Pretty soon NUISANCE will be well-defined when the gavel falls and Idiot Ridge dies.

Kesey’s advice to writers – “going down in this hole” – reminded me of a couple other fun encounters I have had in land use struggles. I miss John Borge, the County planner who hooted over the phone about the vitriol created by the pro and con forces debating Molalla’s ‘growth’ plans (now more properly labeled ‘growth fantasies’). Borge laughed and said “that’s how land use in Oregon is SUPPOSED TO BE – contentious”. He helped me understand that it is a right and a duty to fight the best fight possible to protect ALL of Oregon’s natural resources. For me, it is never just a NIMBY issue – my backyard is all of Oregon – and all of the planet. Cartoon motocross figures are black and white and only understand their selfish “wants”.

No one is more of a pathetic, one-dimensional cartoon than a motocross ‘fan’:

“Hi, I love to pollute, make ear-splitting noise, ruin the environment for all living things and make everyone angry at me as I treat people like pawns so I can have fossil fuel burnin’ ‘fun’.  And while I’m at it, I’ll rope in some kiddies and watch them hurt themselves on dirt bikes because I am too (choose one, choose all) lazy, ignorant, unfeeling, reckless, selfish to teach children about empathy, compassion, the need to respect the rights of others and the need to protect the environment so there will be something left for their great grandkids to enjoy”.

Donald Duck has more morals than the people who support Idiot Ridge!

Here’s another crazy fact: the hulks and hulkettes, trying to play nice and look civilized, are now actually “praying” for Idiot Ridge! What ‘god’ would bestow them the gift of being a NUISANCE TO OTHER LIVING THINGS? I can’t imagine who they “pray” to, maybe someone can enter that into the record so we know who the god of MX is and what dusty, noise ridden tracks he hangs out at.

 

Here’s a sample from what “going down in the hole” of motocross has to offer (from a MX blogger angry that anyone would oppose tracks):

“We should get a gang together and find out where these people live and go mad max all around their houses in a drunken drug induced frenzy terrorize their pets and harass and corrupt their daughters!~ while we pollute and destroy the world!!! (just kidding) no really!!!”

No really, that is the funny part! That quote is EXACTLY  what the folks at Idiot Ridge have already done – impact animals, children, pollute and erode and generally trash  people’s lives for several years – so right on there, blogger! You don’t have to go do it, you ALREADY DID IT  because THAT’S WHY IDIOT RIDGE IS IN TROUBLE!

Here are a few great quotes from the Sargent who visited to witness the last day of carnage at Idiot Ridge in June, writing to his Captain:

“I talked to the reporting party and I was shocked that I could hardly hear … over the telephone because of the exhaust noise of the motorcycles…When I arrived the noise of the motorcycles racing on this track made it difficult to hear…I have parked in my car on the public roadway aprox. one hundred years away from the track while typing this e-mail to you. I can write without reservation that the noise level is intolerable.”

That’s what Kesey’s “going down in the hole” is all about – checking out how clueless these MX hulks are about what NUISANCE MEANS. In the same “let’s pray” blog they have to urge each other to be “polite”. It is pretty clear from my ‘special’ collection of MX ‘comments’ that ‘polite’ doesn’t come easily – MX ‘fans’ are far more gifted in profanity and direct threats. In any case, MX is not going to continue in Molalla, that’s clear, given the boatload of enemies it has made.

Another land use struggle – to stop the nutty Big Look Task Force – led me to speak at a work session in Salem a couple of years ago.  I outlined the silly ‘plans’ Molalla had to impact prime farmland, talked about Molalla’s refusal to understand and respect Goal One (citizen involvement in planning), expressed my support for our great land use goals, and stated my concern that our state needs to continue to work to protect resources for future generations. The report generated by various universities proved that our land use goals are doing a great job protecting us from sprawl and preserving natural resources.

During that fascinating work session, a professor from the U of O passed me his card and invited me to get in touch. He plans to write a book about land use struggles in Oregon – like John Borge, that professor understands that people who care passionately about our amazing state will fight tooth and nail to ensure that the goals are enforced and that no garbage like motocross on farm/forest is allowed to slip through any cracks. That professor, like those of us working on multiple land use issues, will have to “go down in a lot of holes” to write that book!

After digging through the bulging  Idiot Ridge files yesterday – and having a LOL about the piles of worthless “We want a place to ride” petitions” (that have ZERO impact in a conditional use case like this because ONLY THE IMPACTS ON NEIGHBORS COUNT),  I ran into a County planning official who gave me better insight into the Catch 22 Idiot Ridge is embroiled in with Clackamas County. Let’s just say I am glad I can sit back and watch the cartoon play out – because, given the warning letters and the heaps of violations and the Sheriff’s input, I wouldn’t want to be riding the Idiot Ridge cartoon down the regulatory path still to come.

Hulks and hulkettes: you might wish to go and read the files carefully, especially that Nov. 2009 warning letter from Code Enforcement:

The Clackamas County Code provides for forfeiture amounts of up to $500 and additional civil penalties of up to $3,500 for each day of noncompliance. Forfeiture amounts and civil penalties are assessed for each cited violation and may be assessed separately against each named party. In addition, the Compliance Hearings Officer may order the violation to be abated by the County at the expense of the property owner(s) and /or responsible parties. …. Also, be advised that non-compliance with a Hearings Officer’s Order may result in the matter being referred to County Counsel for legal action in Circuit Court. Circuit Court can impose additional penalties or other sanction as they deem appropriate”.

Or don’t bother to read the whole document, because either way soon you’ll all be moving the MX cartoon cast to abuse some other neighborhood and will be busy heaping threats somewhere else, because you would be too cowardly to risk being a “named party” per the above legal notice. And Mr. Idiot Ridge will, if he persists, be likely juggling court dates and lawyer’s bills and wishing he had actually had bought property ‘in the middle of nowhere’.

That Nov. 3 letter sure doesn’t sound like the County felt that Mr. Idiot Ridge was doing “everything” he was asked to do – it takes a lot of ongoing violations to get that kind of legal blast.

Here are some words to ponder as motocross cartoon jerks and sputters around the screen, trying to find its way out of the Catch-22 that is the public’s and land use regulator’s hatred of the bankrupt, polluting, destructive ‘sport’ of motocross:

“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

“That’s some catch, that Catch-22,” he (Yossarian) observed.

“It’s the best there is,” Doc Daneeka agreed. ” Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Go land use goals, go Clackamas County planning, go 1000 Friends of Oregon, go ODFW, go Water Master, and go Clackamas County Sheriff – thanks for keeping motocross ensnared in the best Catch-22 process on the planet!

I can relax and head out on horseback to look for my cute doe herd – they are very friendly and unafraid because it is QUIET HERE and because there is a REAL FOREST HERE.  I’ll walk around to wrap trees so the bucks don’t destroy them rubbing antlers this time of year and I’ll see the mushrooms in the humus rich ground and I’ll look for owls roosting and I’ll hear the hawks scream and see the creek ebb and flow. All is right in Oregon and in our land use goals I trust. Take your motocross destruction and your crappy threats and stuff it  – motocross is nothing but a CARTOON.

And PS – the biomass digester that was begging for conditional use in Clackamas County just pulled its own plug in the face of massive public opposition. I guess that quote I saw somewhere from Cartoon Corrie was correct: It is ‘VERY DIFFICULT TO GET CONDITIONAL USE’. Must be that the digester folks saw the Catch-22 writing on the wall and didn’t want to be another County Cartoon?

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