Poor, Poor, Pitiful Idiot Ridge

I’d lay my head on my ugly eroding tracks
And wait for a 250 Kawasaki
But my motocross don’t run no more
Poor, poor pitiful me

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These land use laws won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met some people in south Molalla
I ain’t naming names
They really worked me over good
They was just like Jesse James
They really worked me over good
They were a credit to their genders
They put me through some changes, Lord
Sort of like a Waring blender

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These angry neighbors won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met some folks at the CPOs
They told me that they’d beat me,
They took me back to the hearing man
I don’t want to talk about it

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These land use laws won’t let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me…….

(Warren Zevon, “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me” with some changes for this time and place!)

Woe is the pathetic Idiot Ridge (aka the soon to be defunct Timber Ridge Motocross “park”) team. At today’s hearing they failed to bring up a single legal issue that could save their totally trashed and thrashed pitiful “project”.

Seeing grown men try to pretend that their clubby illegal motocross site was “by the family, for the families” was hilarious. When hulkin’ dudes try to pretend how sweet and moral they are it is hard not to break out in howls of laugher.

And talk about making our NO MOTOCROSS point by having hulks whining about how they are losing all their places to ride! Gee, thanks for pointing out that the world is closing ranks AGAINST MOTOCROSS! Why, oh why, could that be happening? Could it be that it is a NASTY FAKE SPORT?

I really loved how the scoff law carpetbagger promoter carried a muffler to the testimony table. Dream on dude if you really are dumb enough to think it is only about noise. Even if the nasty stinkin’ dirt bikes were totally silent it would still be a DENY DENY DENY according to every land use law on the books! READ THE STAFF REPORT.

And we are all awaitin’ to see how the idiots think they can do a “noise test” without getting another TICKET FOR NOISE! That’s kind of something it seems the idiots didn’t figure in their plans. The Sheriff told the neighbors NO WAY on any more variances for Idiot Ridge on noise, so everyone will be ringing the phones off the hook at the Sheriff’s office as soon as any motorcycle starts at Idiot Ridge.

So spend away on “I’ll steal your money but you’ll still lose” consultants, Idiot Ridge. I hope you go bankrupt trying to permit what is obviously nonsense.

Please fire up for that noise “test” and the neighbors will “test” to see how fast the Sheriff can get here. Is it worth risking confiscation of expensive shiny motorcycles?

Please, next time bring the hulkin’ fans to the hearing in their ridiculous motocross costumes. The planning files are filled with detailed pictures of the same hulkin’ dudes on site at EVENTS making the neighbors furious. I bet the planning staff had fun putting names with faces, kind of like mug shot files or a line up! So, putting a couple of guys in worn out white shirts in front of a mike and making sure they are careful not to reveal they live somewhere far away and could care less about our quality of life fools nobody. Too bad the hulks couldn’t find a  thing with legal merit to say to connect to their “need” to ride!

And by the way, the hearing officer said to ONLY present legal planning issues – that means codes and how codes are supported or violated.

The “need to ride” and the “need to make money” and “my family loves me and I love my family and I love my scoff law friends” and “I wish I could ride closer” testimonies have ZERO standing in land use rulings. The staff report lays the FACTS out in spades, but I guess the hulks are too busy breathing fumes and plotting car burning to try to gather any laws in their favor. Oh! I forgot! That would be a waste of time because there ARE NOT ANY LAWS ON THEIR SIDE. READ THE STAFF REPORT!

Here it is in a nutshell: the codes don’t give a rat’s ass about the “wants” or “needs” of the hukin’ Idiot Ridge fools! In a conditional use case the ONLY thing that matters is whether or not the NEIGHBORS’ WANTS AND NEEDS ARE NEGATIVELY IMPACTED. NEIGHBORS WIN! Score a million for the neighbors and less than ZERO for motocross. Code doesn’t have a provision for what the hulks want if the neighbors DON’T WANT IT!

And in case you missed it today, Idiot Ridge: THE NEIGHBORS DON’T WANT IT!

In case I have been living on “cloud nine” since the fantastic DENY DENY DENY staff report came out, and I forgot to mention it, our wonderful, free, savvy, talented 1000 Friends of Oregon lawyer (did I mention he will go the distance for FREE?) said that staff report COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BETTER FOR THE STOP IDIOT RIDGE CAMPAIGN!

Did I mention 1000 Friends would take this to LUBA for FREE? And how about that FREE appeal at County if the CPO hates the outcome? Wow, that’s a lot of “FOR FREE” for the neighbors when it would cost a commercial enterprise like Idiot Ridge a fortune to defend itself against all those FREE LEGAL privileges!

When the hulkin’ dudes went up to honor the destruction of land and noted the illegal construction of the tracks it only made our points more clear: the motocross promoters only stepped up to try to legalize their ugly mess when the neighbors hunted down code enforcement. If someone respects codes, that land would currently not have any tracks and the owner would be asking IF he could build in the future IF he got permission from planning – he would not be trying to go backwards to try to retro-actively BEG to permit the Idiot Ridge abortion. That’s the word I was looking for to best describe how the Ridgidiots testified – the Ridgidiots BEGGED because they must know they’re on a lost cause.

I sure hope the Ridigiots and their dear families enjoy LAND RESTORATION.

And remember hulkin idiots – We TOLD YOU the facts at the CPO meeting! We told you EXACTLY how the County would rule!

A hardy “THANKS!” to whatever idiot allowed all those aerial photos to be posted on the web, along with the wealth of Ridgidiot party event photos and all the great videos of the rides. No one needed to snoop or even to get an injunction to inspect – because some idiot did all the work for us.

Word has it that the County about blew a fuse when the officials saw those aerial photos and the “we’re a’ ridin’ and we’re a tearin’ up the land, whoopee, lets kick up the dust!” videos. Talk about proof of dust, noise and erosion! Great job shooting yourselves in the foot, Idiot Ridgers.

LCDC enjoyed the motocross exhibit show in Salem recently and soon another great group of state-wide leaders will get their eyes opened wide about “events” that shouldn’t ever have been allowed to become entrenched.

A fun day was truly had by all at County, we can’t wait to see what kind of bullshit Idiot Ridge tries in 2 weeks. It does seem pretty futile to anyone with a brain but hey, keep on a spendin’, America is beggin’ for citizens to float a false economy.

And a special note to Mrs. Idiot Ridge: take your “family fun” somewhere you are welcome because your pompous, callous “family” has more than worn out its welcome trashing our community’s quality of life. Why not roar on down to Mansionville park in Happy Valley and see how YOUR REAL NEIGHBORS welcome motocross?


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