CARPETBAGGERS ROAR INTO OUR HILLS: Kick the Bums OUT!

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Hoist the mainsail – here I come
Ain’t no room on board for the insincere
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

I was born to rock the boat
Some may sink but we will float
Grab your coat – let’s get out of here
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

Long ago we laughed at shadows
Lightning flashed and thunder followed us
It could never find us here
You’re my witness
I’m your mutineer

( “Mutineer” by Warren Zevon, 1995)

It’s been completely amazing to see the callous hordes of “ME FIRST” *CARPETBAGGING motocross dudes in action in our quiet and peaceful south Molalla hills and dales. But what is even more amazing and inspiring is seeing our growing local band of community “mutineers” rising to throw the bums out!

I’m glad I got an eye and earful in May of what hideous motocross “events” are like. I’m glad I got to hold my cell phone up so a public official could get an earful as well. Deafening noise, participants threatening citizens who were attempting to document the “activities” and clouds of dust were the hallmark of the day.

Even after the Clackamas County Sheriff came and issued a citation for a noise violation – 81.7 decibels, over 20 decibels over the legal limit – the disrespectful event promoter resumed activities for the remainder of the day. Then, he had the gall to flim flam the Sheriff into a variance a couple of weeks later for another motocross “event”. Let’s be thankful for that flim flam variance, because the Sheriff fully knows what  “game” is on and won’t be turning any blind eyes in the future. It seems like the Sheriff’s office doesn’t like to be tricked!

Now, the hulking hordes believe that the motocross event facility is as easy as writing a check and filling rooms with CARPETBAGGING motocross fans from everywhere but our neighborhood. That naive idea is funny beyond belief.

Reading about motocross struggles around our region and even around the nation, it is clear that there is a trajectory for ALL motocross “projects”. They start small, begin to drag in “friends”, and then as the activities increase the CARPETBAGGING “friends”alienate all the rural community. Once the community creates enough blowback to local officials, like code enforcement, County Commissions and the police, the motocross hordes are forced to cease activity unless and until they obtain legal permits from their Counties. That’s where our motocross CARPETBAGGERS are now – enmeshed in a pathetic struggle to find an inch of firm ground for their quickly sinking ship with Clackamas County codes.

It won’t matter how clever the CARPETBAGGERS think they are, or how many lies or half-truths they tell, or how much they try to intimidate, threaten or malign gentle, long term residents who oppose them or how much they try to pretend it’s all about a “family” event facility.

All that matters all across the nation in every struggle I have researched is what the NEIGHBORS THINK. The NEIGHBORS always think motocross is the WORST ACTIVITY that ever hit their peaceful, QUIET lives as LONG TERM RURAL RESIDENTS – and, thankfully, the NEIGHBORS ALWAYS WIN. In Oregon and in Clackamas County, with some of the most protective land use regulations in the nation it’s easy to win – but it is fascinating to read how even in states with more permissive land use rules the NEIGHBORS STILL ALWAYS WIN THE FIGHT AGAINST MOTOCROSS ABUSE.

In fact, one of the funniest exchanges I read on a motocross blog was a clueless wannabe motocross promoter asking the hulking dudes on-line about getting “insurance” for his hoped for motocross facility. The blowback on the site was overwhelming: all the posters replied “Forget worrying about insurance – it is ALL ABOUT THE NEIGHBORS!”. They said “If you don’t have the SUPPORT of the NEIGHBORS, you LOSE!”

A usually sparsely attended CPO meeting last week was packed with the beleaguered NEIGHBORS facing the hulking CARPETBAGGERS. It was quite amazing to see the promoters of the motocross looming around the room and actually SMIRKING as agonized neighbors told about the years of HELL they have lived through because of the CARPETBAGGERS. Do the CARPETBAGGERS think we give a crap about their “need” to ride – or their “need” to ride closer to emergency services because their idiotic “sport” is so dangerous?

The selfish, callous CARPETBAGGERS certainly don’t give a crap about the neighbors’ lives, the neighbors’ safety, or the neighbors’ wishes for privacy, peace and quiet!

That emergency services “need” only adds another footnote to the reasons why motocross is a stupid idea in a tiny community with limited emergency services. A giant proposed motocross facility in Washington state is dangling full-time on site medical services – and yet FOUR YEARS LATER it is still in limbo! After two voluminous, extensive and very expensive professional noise studies (that for our purposes firmly will prove that there is NO WAY noise codes can be met on a puny 20 acre site in our community) the County is ordering a third-party noise study.

It was hilarious to talk to a couple of motorcycle salesmen at local stores about the decibel levels of dirt bikes. They howled with laughter when I asked if they had heard about any “magic” mufflers that would damp the noise pollution coming from a dirt bike. Both salesmen told me that dirt bikes HAVE to be HUGELY NOISY to have the power to jump and to hill climb – and both said that 85-100 decibels was ALWAYS THE NORM. One salesman laughed and said “Please don’t ever ride those NOISY bikes near MY PROPERTY”! Gee – the motorcycles salesmen at least tell the truth!

Earth to CARPETBAGGERS: No one on the planet is going to buy the story that you’ll meet noise codes – and that would mean a further drain on our County code enforcement and Sheriff services – because anyone with a brain knows the fight would never end. Endless calls for OVER THE LIMIT NOISE would easily shut the gates at any PUNY 20 acre facility minutes after the gates opened for the first ride.

And earth to smirking OUT OF STATE  CARPETBAGGING woman motocross promoter: We’re NOT the “MIDDLE OF NOWHERE” and we WON’T BACK DOWN. And by the way, smirky woman – thanks for flapping your mouth about those $30 “playdates”, you helped to sink the motocross ship a lot faster. Keep up that great “promotion” work!

The looming hordes from everywhere but here have only one real reason they are so desperately clinging to any bogus straw to keep their illegally created toy: the CARPETBAGGERS “need” the scoff law track because they have literally been kicked out of almost every venue where they try to establish for their nasty and unsustainable “sport”.

Like that’s OUR COMMUNITY’S problem that they don’t have a place to ride? Boo Hoo! Like that’s OUR problem that the Forest Service has kicked them out of most public forests? Boo Hoo! Like that’s OUR problem that they have to drive a long way to get to LEGAL venues for motocross? Boo Hoo! Isn’t DRIVING AIMLESSLY IN CIRCLES FOR HOURS AND FILLING THE AIR WITH CARBON EMISSIONS what the motocross “sport” is all about?

What’s wrong, hulking, smirking dudes, with DRIVING to the LEGAL venues? After all, that’s all you are going to end up with after this struggle: the drive to Albany’s commercial track, or to Sandy’s commercial track, or to Longview’s commercial track or to Washougal’s commercial track. The world of GRANDFATHERED TRACKS is waiting for your $$$$$ – “go to them, they call you, they can’t refuse, when you got NOTHING you got nothing to lose” (sorry Bob Dylan, I couldn’t resist). “You got nothing to lose” except your bikes if you pollute our community further!

No one will call the cops or the code enforcement or any state agencies when you ride at LEGAL COMMERCIAL GRANDFATHERED TRACKS! Isn’t that a lot more fun than spending the next years and years and years and years and piles of $$$$$ in and out of court, risking confiscation of bikes – especially when the COMMUNITY has free legal help to fight to the bitter end?

I hear there is a much hated by neighbors GRANDFATHERED track in Eugene that’s been through the mill with Lane County and now has limited service in the winter – that’s an easy shot for hulking, smirking dudes who love motorized vehicles. I5 is made for traffic – but our rural community IS NOT!

There’s a theme here that the hulking horde of smirking, naive CARPETBAGGERS keeps missing: that NOTHING NEW has been established for their bogus noise, air and water polluting motocross “sport” in Oregon since the land use rules went into effect over THIRTY YEARS AGO. Currently Clackamas County is scratching its head to try to decide if it could possibly allow conditional use for weddings and wine tastings on prime rural lands. Hey CARPETBAGGERS, do you get that: it’s not even legal at this time to have a commercial WEDDING event on rural County lands, what does that say about the chances for conditional use for nasty, noisy, intrusive, intensive, HATED BY NEIGHBORS  motocross? Or are your brains so addled that it doesn’t register? Do you REALLY think it is as simple as paying a few thousand bucks and telling some fibs and getting a green light? I sure know better!

It’s not “personal” folks, it’s all about meeting STRICT codes. And there is nothing in the current proposal for INTENSIVE MOTOCROSS/CAMPGROUND USE of farm/forest land  that will allow the CARPETBAGGERS to find a path to victory.

Campgrounds are supposed to fit in with the birds and the bees and the pretty trees and the streams – quiet and peaceful places where the camping is SECONDARY to the ESTABLISHED primary uses in farm/forestlands. I guess I missed the part where the deer and the raptors are hooking up rigs filled with motorcycles and roaring around the region to RIDE?

In fact, it is hilarious to read about struggles of commercial developers with deep pockets who are trying and trying and trying for years and years and years to permit motocross facilities on HUGE sites far away from the NEIGHBORS. Even they can’t succeed!

We’re lucky to have land use experts willing to carry our fight against the CARPETBAGGERS all the way to every appeal necessary to protect our lives, our lands, our families, our privacy, our quality of life, our communities and our natural resources from SELFISH CARPETBAGGERS who were too selfish and callous to understand that NEIGHBORS ALWAYS COME FIRST – AND THAT IN THE STRUGGLES AGAINST MOTOCROSS NEIGHBORS ALWAYS WIN.

It’s a fact, smirking hordes – it’s called research and it’s called “legal precedent”. So pack the halls with hulking hordes of CARPETBAGGERS – it only helps to further prove the point that the “we want” motocross gang isn’t about OUR COMMUNITY – it is about CARPETBAGGERS using and abusing rural people for the nasty “fun” of a tiny minority of selfish smirkers who don’t have a clue what “community” means.

Every struggle I have participated in around Molalla – to protect our rural lands from Molalla’s idiotic growth plans, to protect our community from the abusive and dangerous Palomar pipeline and now to save us from the motocross CARPETBAGGERS  – has brought me new respect for what “community” means.

We might all play on different political teams, we might not agree on religion, and we might not even agree on many other issues – but when a NASTY THREAT comes up from CARPETBAGGERS – whether the CARPETBAGGERS live in Happy Valley, or Vancouver Washington, or in the Molalla city limits or work for FERC and come from Washington DC – the vast majority of MY rural community quickly unites in force and says “KICK THE BUMS OUT – these are OUR LANDS!”

We’re always united MUTINEERS AGAINST ANYTHING THAT THREATENS OUR QUALITY OF LIFE.

It’s happened time and again: progressive folks and Constitution Party folks standing side by side to tell FERC and Palomar to take their Fascist project elsewhere – TO “GET OFF OUR LAND”!  And total strangers quickly uniting at Molalla’s nutty land use hearings to demand real Goal One involvement – telling the City of Molalla to “STAY OFF OUR LAND!”  Now OUR south Molalla community (and even Clackamas County residents outside our immediate area) are ready to show in force that we care about our privacy, our resources and our quality of life and will tell motocross to “GET OUT OF OUR LANDS”.

We have every confidence in the world, after doing the research and uniting, with the legal experts and land use FACTS on our side, that there is no way nasty, noisy, trash talking, threatening, polluting CARPETBAGGERS will ever prevail. We trounced Palomar and Bradwood LNG, we’re beating Molalla’s urban reserves and the easiest and quickest fight of all will be to kick TIMBER RIDGE out of OUR COMMUNITY once and for all.

So yes: it is GAME ON! A war of words in the land of free speech is great, it is lots of fun, I’ve heard it all MANY times before – but the reality is THE NEIGHBORS ALWAYS WIN AGAINST MOTOCROSS.  It isn’t about anything personal, it’s FACTS, it’s HISTORY, it’s all over the web. It is always about citizens protecting their COMMUNITIES from ABUSIVE CARPETBAGGERS!

As good ole much lamented Warren Zevon said: “If you can’t take the punches, then it don’t mean a thing”.

GAME ON! We’ve been there, done that, taken the punches and we always WIN because we LIVE HERE. Put OUR GRANDFATHERED RIGHTS in your Timber Ridge pipe and smoke them! Sinking ship ahoy – the local MUTINEERS are poking big holes in the Timber Ridge ship and the bow is about to go under. And all the false bravado in the world won’t change Timber “Titanic” Ridge’s fast fall to the ocean floor of “what if’s and if only’s”.

What a mistake for the CARPETBAGGERS not to even try to make “friends” FIRST. I see FAILURE AHOY.

Yo, ho, ho: See ya all at the hearin’!

And PS – if you want something LEGAL TO RIDE in PRIME FARM/FOREST LANDS IN CLACKAMAS COUNTY, there’s an easy solution to your problems:

GET A HORSE!

*(Hey hulkin’ CARPETBAGGERS: thanks for helping set an all time blog record!  I hope the counter doesn’t break. Ain’t FREE SPEECH GREAT? Ain’t AMERICAN FREEDOMS GREAT? I can’t figure out what the hell you are so worried about from a bunch of old grey haired old “middle of nowhere” folks – you talked at the CPO meetin’ like you had the code issues all knocked out, so what’s to worry, right? We were told – or more like THREATENED – that you’d be a ridin’ them machines and a tearin’ it up and a makin’ the neighbors’ lives miserable again first thing next year, maybe even “burnin’ some bitch’s car” if we crossed you “gentlemen” (Hello? how dumb can you BE?) You seem to believe that you’d be showin’ all us “hillbilly bitches” who is the boss – so why on earth worry what we have to say?

Got to go now – good ole Spider, my trusty horse, is a waitin’ for a peaceful ride around the quiet hills and dales. We might see some of those cool owls, or woodpeckers or the herd of deer that lives here – you know, all the stuff YOU NEVER SEE when you ROAR AROUND IN CIRCLES RUINING OUR NATURAL RESOURCES! I can’t wait to give ODFW the tour of ALL the natural resources that a MOTOCROSS “NON- PARK” WOULD DESTROY, stay tuned for that report coming to a County office soon!).

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